God endowed us with the ability to store information in our memory and to retrieve this information at will. God gave us memory in order to remember His commandments to us, “Remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them.” (Num 15:39_40) Through memory, the disciples remembered the words of the Lord Jesus when he was with them and later wrote them in the Gospels and the Epistles. The Gospels were recorded in the memory of the believers as an oral tradition long before they were written.

Another reason we were given memory is to remember all the good things that the Lord has done to us, “And Moses said unto the people, Remember this day, in which ye came out from Egypt, out of the house of bondage; for by strength of hand the LORD brought you out from this.” (Exod 13:3)

Imagination, on the other hand, was not a gift from God. Theophan the Recluse tells us that rational creatures (angels and men) were created by God without imagination. Satan’s fall from grace started when he developed an imagination, and imagined that he could be equal to God. Satan introduced imagination into the minds of Adam and Eve, when he told them that if they eat of the forbidden fruit they can become like God.

Satan can use both imagination and memory to tempt us to sin. Any object we perceive by our senses, leaves an impression in our memory that can be recalled, for good or for bad.

Sins of memory and imagination are even more dangerous than sins of the senses for these following reasons.

Sins of the senses are brought out by encountering an object that stimulates the senses, the sight of someone or something, a sound or a smell etc.. That means that sins of the senses are brought about by external objects. On the other hand, through memory, one can instantly recall the same sensations he/she encountered through the senses, and dwell on them even in their absence.

Imagination can even add “special effects” to sensory objects stored in the memory making them more appealing and more exciting than they originally were.

Finally, senses go to sleep, but sins of memory and imagination can attack us even while we sleep, through dreams.

SINS OF MEMORY: The remembrance of old evils

In the Liturgy, we pray that God may cleanse us form “the remembrance of evil that entails death.” Remembrance of evil here means remembering either an evil that I did in the past or some evil done by another person against me.

Sexual immorality:

The memory of sins committed in the past can come back to haunt us even after we stopped doing them. Some of the great saints of the desert suffered for many years of this. Saint Moses the Black was tormented by thoughts about his past evils for a long time. Amma Sarah, who was a nun contemporary with St. Macarius the Great, fought against these thoughts for 14 years, before the Lord granted her freedom from these assaults.

Sexually immoral pictures or movies that we see on T.V. or the Net are firmly imprinted in the memory and they usually come to offend us violently.

Anger:

I may have had an argument or a fight with someone, and even if we were reconciled, remembering what happened before can excite in us thoughts of anger and revenge that can be distressing. The devil can make things look and sound much worse than they really were. Many married couples live in misery because of this. A little argument in the morning before going to work is usually used by the devil very effectively. While at work, the devil causes the incident to be recalled in both their minds. Passionate feelings of anger and indignation are thus implanted in both their minds, so that when they come home, the little argument of the morning becomes a big fight that may rob both of them of their inner peace for weeks. How do you think divorces start? Some people even remember things deep in the past and recall them every time an argument happens. For example, a couple may be married for 10 years or more, and every time they have an argument, the wife reminds the husband of something he did (or did not) while they were on their honeymoon! The husband may also do the same and remind her of something her mother said while they were engaged!

Judging:

You may have witnessed or heard something done by another person and you immediately judge that person. You may have even repented and confessed about judging that person, but the matter is not closed. Every time you meet that person you remember what he or she did and you start judging that person once again in your mind. It is quite possible that this person too might have repented and confessed about whatever s/he did, s/he may have even forgotten it (as we should when we repent and confess) and yet you keep falling into the sin of judging him or her by the remembrance of evil.

Vainglory:

sometimes we do something that seems good to us. For example, I may have helped reconcile two people, but later on I keep recalling all the “wise words” that I said to them, and revel and bask in the glory, telling myself, “am I not great!” A Sunday School teacher may have been given grace in giving a lesson to his/her class. This grace is usually given for the sake of the children and not because of the excellence of the teacher, but he or she starts to recall every word that was said and the heart is filled with self gratification as if the words are coming from self and not from God.

Let me give you an exercise to fight this temptation. As soon as these memories start rising up in your mind, remember that the Lord used an ass (donkey) to rebuke the prophet Balaam. (Num 22:21-43, II Pe 2:14-15) Tell yourself, I have no more right to glory in my words than the donkey of Balaam!

SINS OF IMAGINATION:

Sexual immorality:

Suppose I work with a colleague from the other sex. The person is decent and he or she never flirts with me. Nevertheless, in my imagination I can commit the whole spectrum of sexually immoral sins with that innocent person. The person may be modest in his or her dress, but in my imagination, I parade that person in whatever flimsy ware that I fancy, or even undress him or her in my imagination, and commit fornication with that person repeated times. Now the reverse thing happens, whenever I see this person I start remembering the imaginary evils I commit with him or her. How do you think sexual harassment starts?

Another evil we commit by imagination is when we dwell on the sexual life of another person. Let me give you an example. You are sitting in a restaurant or a bus and you notice an elderly man and a young woman sitting together chatting in a friendly manner. Immediately, in your imagination, you create an evil scenario, imagining the man to be her boss at work, and that she is his mistress ... The truth of the matter is that this is a girl sitting with her father, and you are falling not only into the sin of sexual phantasy but also into judging them.

Anger:

You have a mean boss at work who always puts you down, or a bully at school who always bothers you. You can’t do anything about it in reality, so instead, you take revenge against that person in your imagination. You imagine yourself verbally abusing this person or even beating him into pulp. You may also parade in your mind various accidents that befall him/her like being killed in a car accident or falling from a tall building ... and all the time evil feelings of delight are filling your heart. What you don’t realize is that you are committing murder in your imagination.

Judging:

If we disapprove of what someone else is doing, (whether rightly or wrongly) we sometimes imagine ourselves giving a sermon to this person! Here we are delivering a passionate sermon, complete with verses from the Bible, rebuking that person for his/her evils and reminding him/her of God’s judgement against those who do such evil things, and vehemently calling upon him or her to repent! What I don’t realize is that I am committing the grave sin of judging others, and that God’s judgement against me for doing that, will far exceed any judgement God may have on that person I am giving a sermon to in my imagination.

These thoughts can be so presumptuous that sometimes I indulge in giving a sermon to my Sunday School teacher, or my parents or even my Father in confession!

Vainglory:

The devil sometimes excites in my imagination visions about my “righteousness.” I can indulge in imagining myself as a famous priest saving millions of souls by my “words of wisdom” and my “righteous life.” Or imagine myself as a monk or a nun, exceeding all my peers in my ascetism ... When I was around 12 years of age, I often had fantasies about being a martyr! I revelled in my imaginary steadfastness in face of all the diabolic tortures that were inflicted upon my “holy” self!

Daydreaming:

No one can be free from daydreams. But to indulge in excessive daydreaming is a sin that one has to confess about. Daydreams are useless, they waste valuable time that can be spent in study or prayer or reading the Bible. Many students sit to study, go through the motion of opening the book, sharpening the pencil, but get immediately drown in their bitter-sweet fantasies.

One very real danger of these daydreams is that they often start as innocent fantasies, but they almost always end up as sexual fantasies. Girls often fantasise about their wedding! They imagine the wedding dress, the maids of honour, the gorgeous church in which the wedding is done, the sumptuous reception that follows ... But, sooner or later this seemingly innocent fantasising will lead to fantasising about the ... wedding night.

Love of the world:

Love of the world is enmity with God. (James 4:4) St. James tells us in the same verse that whoever loves the world is an enemy of God. In spite of this, we often indulge in this sin by imagining ourselves living in great palaces, wearing the latest trendy clothes, driving one of those dream cars. Cars are big on the minds of our pre-teen children. They talk about them, they paste their icons on the walls of their bed rooms and dream about them.

I was driving a group of our own youngsters from Toronto after an activity day they had there, and all they cared to talk about during the return trip was cars!

This temptation was one of the three temptations that the devil tried with our Lord, when he took Christ on a high mountain and showed him in an instance all the kingdoms of the world and their glory, and told him, “you can have all of this if you fall down and worship me!” Of course Jesus rebuked him, but how many times the devil tries the same trick on us by showing us all the worldly things he can give us if only we fall down and worship him. Every time we indulge in these fantasies, we are actually consenting to him!

Fantasizing about food:

This is specially dangerous when we fast! It is two weeks before the end of lent and you fantasize about the sumptuous dinner you will have after the midnight mass. You can almost feel the food on your mouth and the smell in your nostrils. It is so real that your mouth starts to water!

Even when you are not fasting, you suddenly start imagining yourself with a juicy mouth watering hamburger or a fabulous ice cream, or whatever makes your mouth water. What you don’t know is that you are committing gluttony in you imagination!

In the Old Testament, this sin assaulted the Israelis after they left Egypt. They told Moses, “We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlic, but now our soul is dried away: there is nothing at all, beside this manna, before our eyes. (Num 11:5_6) God sent the people quails but punished them severely for their gluttony as we are told in Num 11:33, “And while the flesh was yet between their teeth, before it was chewed, the wrath of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD smote the people with a very great plague.”

The treatment:

The first step is to recognize these sins as they are, and not think that they are harmless thoughts or fantasies. As such, you ought to mention them in your confession. As with any other sins you are fighting against, you need to pray and ask for God’s grace to help you overcome them.