Spirituality | Youth

Life without goals means being totally lost. This is a fact most people would concur with. When the hedonists in olden times said; “let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die” (1Cor. 15:23), they met with strong opposition throughout the ages. Man does not consist merely of a body and senses; he consists of also a soul that prays, a mind that thinks, and a social being with relation-ships that have the potential for love, happiness, sacrifice, and responsibility.

1- Why should we have goals in life?



Goals :

a- Give life meaning : A person who sets a particular goal has chosen
this goal out of a spiritual reason or

a certain way of thinking, confirming the fact that life has meaning and
is not as some atheistic existentialists say, “an unnecessary and
useless existence”.

Life, for those who have noble aims, consists of days spent in rejoicing
in God and in making other rejoice in Him. Otherwise, how can man bear
suffering, evil, and catastrophes if he does not live in eternity while
still on

earth, hoping to attain it after death and to enjoy a happy immortality
with God? In fact, he considers the suffering of this age “an eternal
weight of glory” (2Cor. 4:17). and very beneficial. Suffering impels him
to wean himself from the world and leads to repentance, surrender, and
purity, just as fire purifies gold. Also the suffering God allows
protects man from pride (St. Paul’s thorn) and renders God’s devout men
precious (Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac).

b- Provides man with a path : When the goal is clear and well-defined,
there is a path that we have to follow in order to attain it. Man thus
knows how to order his steps and what direction to take in order to
reach his noble goal.

c- Gives man enthusiasm : When the goal is visible, we are encouraged to
make an effort to reach it. Our enthusiasm helps us to overcome
obstacles and deal with them. If we cannot see our aim, we lose our
courage and feel perplexed and anxious, maybe even fearful and lost.

2- The importance of having a clear goal :



The importance of having clear goals results in the following :



a- A short path : Having a clear goal helps in drawing a straight line
between two points, the beginning and the end. A straight line is the
shortest distance between two points. Having a clear goal helps me to
move immediately towards it while without it I would blunder around; I
might even leave the right path and end far from my ultimate goal.

b- Less energy expended : It is evident that the shortest path to one’s
goals means that less energy is required. In contrast, without a clear
goal, man expends far more energy without reaching it.

c- A greater return : It is well-known that expending a limited amount
of energy to reach a goal leaves a surplus of energy to be expended in
other areas in which we could achieve success as long as our aims are
sound and clear.

Thus, having a clear goal makes me take the shortest route, expend the
least energy and get the greatest returns with the grace of God.



3- Types of Goals :



There are two types of goals:



a- Strategic goals : that is, the principal and ultimate goal, which is
to attain the kingdom of God and eternal life. This is generally
implanted in man. He has a conscience, “God’s voice in man”, and in him
is a great and thirst and hunger for the infinite which cannot be
attained without God. There is a number called infinity which is

a real fact. Man, by his nature, is an infinite creature, meaning that
he always transcends himself, his reality, and his life on earth. He
wants immortality through salvation and the Savior, through the infinite
Christ,

the Living Bread that came down from heaven and gave us eternal life.

b- Intermediate goals : and these are spiritual, cultural, intellectual,
material or social. They must all lead to the strategic and ultimate
goal, the kingdom of God. The believer obtains this inner kingdom in his
heart, spurring him towards the infinite kingdom, the heavenly
Jerusalem. They are the aims of daily life: studies, work, marriage (or
celibacy), service (or contemplation), struggling against sin, daily
witnessing to the Lord of glory in various ways in accordance to the
energy, talents, gifts, and circumstances of the individual.



4- Dealing with goals :



In Psychology, there are three methods employed by man in attaining his
intermediate goals in his attempts to reach his final goal. We want to
expound them and then explain the Christian view of them.

First: the Direct Method :



This means that the aim is obvious to me and I go towards it directly.
If I enco-unter an obstacle, I deal with it as follows:

1- Remove the obstacle if possible.

2- Go around it if that is also possible.

3- Replace the intermediate goal with one more suitable.

Even in spiritual matters, man might have a goal such as monasticism and
then discover that marriage is more suitable for him.

In worldly matters, a young man might choose a certain career, but upon
encountering obstacles, he might replace it with a more appropriate one.

This is a method that Christianity sanctions as long as the individual
tries to reach his goal with the help of God. If he encounters an
obstacle that truly blocks his path and discovers through the Lord and
spiritual guidance that another goal is more appropriate, he should aim
at that in peace, surrender, and acceptance.



Second: Indirect Methods:



A person resorts to these when faced with obstacles; some of them are
sanctioned by Christianity and some are not. Psychology calls them
Defense Mechanisms because the individual defends his existence and
personal fulfillment. What is important is that he should use Christian
and sound methods because most of these expedients are unacceptable from
a Christian point of view. Some of these are:

a- Repression : A person banishes socially unacceptable motives and
painful or shameful memories to the subconscious believing that he has
gotten rid of them, but they appear in his dreams and fantasies. A
moment of eruption and upheaval is a possible result of increased
repression. Christianity teaches us not to repress these negative
feelings and motives but to release them to the conscious, to pray, to
think, and to confess. Thus we obtain forgiveness, guidance, and help in
facing these unacceptable motives or painful memories. We are confident
that the Lord will grant us victory, sustain us in our weakness,
sanctify our motives, and use our painful and shameful memories in
building up our present and future.

b- Sublimation : this means raising sexual energy, for instance, and
diverting it to other useful purposes such as religion, reading, sports,
hobbies, or service. Sublimation means raising and ennobling the
unacceptable motives and directing them to an acceptable and useful
activity. Naturally, Christianity approves of this.

c- Compensation : If a person fails in some area, he turns to another in
order to achieve success. This is, of course, acce-ptable as long as
these areas are useful and holy such as work, sports, or the arts.

d- Rationalizing : this means that the individual justifies his failure
giving feeble excuses to escape responsibility. He distorts the
worthwhile aim that he failed to attain or he praises a worthless goal
that he is aiming at. He looks for false excuses too.

e- Belittling : this means a person talks about others faults to divert
attention from his own. In Christianity we call this judging others. It
would be better for an individual to look for his own faults and correct
them and to look for the virtues of others so he can learn of them.

f- Impersonification : an individual impersonates a successful and
outstanding person in order to share in his success. He adopts his
characteristics, behavior, and maybe his appearance. This however is not
the essence and is therefore not healthy. Each person has his own
personality, his own distinctive appearance and character, and it would
be better to deal with God in faith so that God might fulfill His
purpose when He created him and make of him a exceptional icon.

g- Overcompensation : The person exaggerates in the expression of love
for another in order to hide his lack of love for him. This is not
Christian. Through God’s work in his life, he can love truly even those
who contradict him or are opposed to him without being hypocritical. He
can, of course, resort to frank discussion and remonstration in order to
achieve peace and reconciliation.

h- Obstinacy : This is the resort of  a weak personality in the
face of one who is domineering in an attempt to assert himself.
Obstinacy can also result from pride and conceit, both of which are
wrong. The Lord can give the weak party strength and help to remonstrate
and talk things out. He can break stubborn pride if it is disdainful and
conceited in order to drive the person to repentance.

I- Daydreams : In a dream world,

a person tries to achieve what he failed to achieve in the real world.
He fantasizes about doing heroic feats, taking an imaginary revenge on
his enemies, or expressing feelings of persecution, all of which are
wrong. Life in the real world is preferable and dealing with problems
directly is more appropriate and will lead us to our realistic and
worthwhile goals.

j- Avoidance : The person avoids all the situations that could lead to
his being criticized or rebuked. He isolates himself in his room for
long periods. It would be better if he restored his calm with a little
rest, isolation and prayer, and then emerged to face the situation and
his duties.



May the grace of God be with us all.

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